Has the entire world gone completely ’round the bend?
No wait, don’t answer that.
I just took a marketing survey regarding non-stick cooking products. Naturally, I have my product of choice so the survey ended up asking me tons and tons of questions about advertising slogans. None of them touched more than peripherally on the capabilities of the cooking spray: does it keep food from sticking, does it make clean-up easier, does it not make your liver explode, etc. Instead all the slogans started out with some offhand reference to some ability of the cooking spray and then thundered ahead with lines like: ” . . . makes clean up easier. Which makes me more confident in the kitchen. Which makes me feel like I’m taking better care of my family.” The real kicker was when they presented you with a list of finalized slogans and asked whether you agreed with the statement: “I am amazed at what a product like Pam can do to make my life better.”
Is it just me or does determining how a non-stick cooking spray makes you feel seem completely irrelevant to the job at hand? I don’t give a good goddamn if I feel like I’ve just had rose water squirted up my arse as I squirt Mazola onto my frying pan – does the bloody stuff keep my hamburger from shearing in two when I pry it up with a spatula? Maybe they’d be better off asking the hamburger how it feels about the cooking spray.
“I like PAM because it makes me feel like I’m playing naked Twister in a pool of the finest baby oil while my innards are cooked to a delicious 160 degrees.”