If you kill the brave ones, the rest will run away.

I’m sure by now everyone’s read the news. A British unit out doing weapons practice near Iraq was surrendered to by Iraqi soldiers who, upon hearing gunfire, assumed the war had begun. This is just too perfect. Here it is, straight from the Sunday Mirror’s mouth:

A British Army source in Kuwait contacted me to explain how the extraordinary surrender bid unfolded. The source said: “The British guys on the front-line could not believe what was happening. They were on pre-war exercises when all of a sudden these Iraqis turned up out of nowhere, with their hands in the air, saying they wanted to surrender.

“They had heard firing and thought it was the start of the war.”

I, and the Brits, actually feel pity for the poor fellows. They had already risked the border crossing to surrender, presumably in the hope of getting some food and decent clothing and instead had to be escorted back across the border into a less than welcome reception, I’m sure. What a drag. Like someone said, “Pip pip, there’s a good wog. Back across the sand old boy. It’s not quite time for you lot to go tits up. Give it a week or so.”

I dunno. What’s the appropriate response? Maybe something like, JESUS CHRIST! THE FUCKING ENEMY SOLDIERS ARE SURRENDERING WHEN THERE ISN’T EVEN A WAR! DOESN’T THIS TELL YOU SOMETHING!

Note the capital letters – maybe those in control can hear better when you shout. Nah, apparently the fact the Iraqis are now voting with their feet for a better life isn’t sufficient for the “striped pants set.” Heaven forfend, whatever shall we do without the U.N? Quagmire! Quagmire!