Mess of the Damned

Drink

Posted on 10 November 2009 by bangpitcher

I am ombibulous. I drink every known alcoholic drink and enjoy ’em all. — H.L. Mencken

Found a long interview with Mencken whilst on a 1920s kick (looking at W.C. Fields bits on You Tube). Bloody brilliant stuff. Nearly as good is the Greatest Drunks of All Time series.

Whilst half plastered on bourbon, homemade hard cider and gin and tonics I managed to beat out the following list.

I think my heroes are:
Hunter Thompson
Henry Mencken
Groucho Marx
W.C. Fields
Eeyore
&
Snuffleuppagus

Those gentlemen are the finest philosophers in history. Even the ones that aren’t real.

Posted in Reality is a Harsh Mistress | Leave a comment

Berlin

Posted on 9 November 2009 by bangpitcher

November 9, 1989 is not a day that sticks in my head. The fall of the Berlin Wall does not weigh on my mind the way the beginning of the 1991 Gulf War, or September 11 does. Mostly I remember the end of the Cold War as a confused and jumbled series of images.

For instance, I never understood what was going on with Yeltsin on the tank. I never understood the steps that led to the pictures of people in the middle of the night smashing up the Wall with their bare hands. To be honest I still don’t know much about what happened. I suppose this is partly because I lived through it and history in the moment is much less cut and dried with clear implications than it is long after the fact. Partly it is because I just never studied 20th century history.

But the further removed we get from November 9, 1989, the more the importance of the date looms in history. Some day I expect it will rank with the adoption of Independence, the Emancipation Proclamation, the surrender of Nazi Germany and all the other great days of Liberation in the history of man.

That is, of course, provided we remember it. And why it matters.

Posted in A Hooligan's History | 2 Comments

The Men Who Stare At Goats

Posted on 8 November 2009 by bangpitcher

You know, Stephen Lang just does not get enough good roles in movies. The first scene where he determines to walk through walls is the finest bit of comedic acting I’ve seen in a long time.

And of course, McGregor, Clooney and Jeff Bridges should be teamed up in everything. Who would have ever believed that Mr. Sex Symbol George Clooney would turn out to be a brilliant comedy artist?

My one complaint is that I am absolutely sick to death of every friggin’ movie making the soldiers, sailors and people of the United States out to be ignorant, trigger happy rubes with a constant roiling undercurrent of self-loathing and disrespect for others. Just once I’d like to see a good, entertaining flick where there’s no self-doubt, no introspective questioning, just a good, old-fashioned can-do spirit and a genuine desire to do right by one’s fellow soldiers and the people we’re fighting for.

We do an awful lot of dying for others and never seem to get the credit. That’s messed up.

Posted in Movies I've Seen | Leave a comment

Phinished

Posted on 6 November 2009 by bangpitcher

Welcome to 2003.

I have spent the better part of 36 hours trying to decide between suicide and homicide. Then merely veering between sheer despair and tentative hopefulness.

I feel like my dog died after running away with my girlfriend.

If it weren’t for the cosmic importance of this fight, I’d shrug and say, “Oh well, they are the Phillies.” Not this time.

Seriously, the one time in all of recorded human history when the entire family of man was cheering for the Philadelphia Phillies and they blew it. Way to go guys. You couldn’t even postpone failure for seven friggin minutes so it didn’t happen on my Dad’s birthday and the one-year anniversary of the Day the United States Died?

God’s intentions are always suspect. In this case, I suspect they are entirely focused on making 2009 the shittiest year in a long goddamn time. Perhaps it’s an issue of the “3”s. 2003 was a good and bad year. 2006 was a manifestly shitty year. 2009 has pretty much got them all beat – not for the pain of individual instances of despair – but for the horrendous summation of all the bad shit that’s gone down.

So prepare for the long, white season. Warmth and Light and Happiness have never seemed further away.

Except when considering this.

Awright, I’ll say it: Go Phils!

Posted in The Baseball Gods | Leave a comment

Bygone

Posted on 4 November 2009 by bangpitcher

Hey kids, we’re damned close to doing this for all the marbles so I have a couple of requests:

1. Let’s shitcan those towels. That’s a football thing. And worse, a Pittsburgh football thing. We can’t come up with our own goddamn traditions? Philly used to have some balls, whatever happened to the stadium courtroom?

2. Let’s shitcan all the World Champions 2008 gear. This ain’t 2008. This is a whole new ballgame. Let’s act like it. Wear your red with pride but stop living in the past. Look to the here and now. Look to the future.

And the future is bright.

Besides, you can’t let the Yankees win the World Series on my Dad’s birthday.

In Pedro we Trust.