One-Hundred Sixteen

Salt Lake City, Utah

Normally I would take the opportunity on Election Day to encourage you all to go out and vote.

Normally I would have something more interesting to say since I am in the midst of a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

But as I spent the day back at Golden Spike doing some more stuff that I didn’t have time for yesterday and since tomorrow I’ll be busy in Mormon-Central I think I’ll take the opportunity to give my typical election time pep-talk today.

Vote. Don’t vote. I don’t really care. It doesn’t make a lick of difference this year who wins. In fact, I wish we didn’t have to vote for either of these characters. In fact, I think we’re pretty much doomed no matter who wins.

Iraq is pretty well won. I think we could still lose, but I don’t think we will. The economy will be fine if people will quit tinkering with it.

If McCain wins it’ll be pretty much business as usual. Creeping socialism will keep creeping led by the creeps in Congress. He’ll be creepy to watch and four years of hearing “Bless your heart” in that nasally VP/canadian accent will be even more creepy than Al Gore’s incredibly irritating voice.

If Obama wins it’ll be pretty much business as usual. Creeping socialism will stop creeping and just be what it is. Maybe we’ll finally stop paying lip-service to the Constitution and just discard it all together. And we’ll have four years of Joe Biden’s idiotic statements and a probable resurgence of the Klan to look forward to.

I figure our saving grace is this: McCain will have to tussle with an incompetent Congress so he won’t be able to screw too much up, Obama – probably incompetent himself – will have to work with an incompetent Congress so he won’t be able to screw too much up.

I will leave you with this. I voted for McCain. You gotta vote for somebody and I already think my taxes are too high. And I’m a little bit scared of Obama. Here comes the Hitler comparison, or Stalin if you prefer: who was the last politician to have his face made into art and plastered all over the streets? Who had his own symbol on banners and posters and flags? It’s more than a little frightening that nobody has paid the slightest attention to the man or what he says, or what he does, or who his friends are. Instead he’s a blank slate upon which all our hopes and aspirations are projected.

What happens if he doesn’t turn out to be who you think he is? What happens if his hopes and aspirations aren’t yours? What happens if that red, white and blue “O” and the Andy Warhol face saying “Obey” really begins to stand for something?

Vote, don’t vote. Whatever. I think I’ll move to Texas. At least when the goon squad in the O armbands comes for me I’ll be armed and my neighbors will be armed and we’ll have a fighting chance.