What a supremely bizarre offseason. The Phils give away Thome and Abreu? Ryan Howard is supposed to singlehandedly hoist the team on his shoulders in his first full season? How about some damned pitching? That’s what’s needed. Away goes the top of the line closer and in comes, who? Christ, I can’t even figure out what the hell’s going on anymore.
The Red Sox clean house? I mean, who the hell is left from the 2004 crew? Varitek? Papi? Manny – for now? And trading Edgah after one season? I mean, thank Christ and all, Edgah was horrible. But Jesus, you spend all that time and effort and dough and then send the man on his way without a real trial period? And you knuckleheads couldn’t even get Cabrera back?
Are the Mets becoming the ’97 Marlins/’01 Diamondbacks? How about Red Sox West? What the hell is going on there? Do the Yankees like watching old guys make fools of themselves in the biggest media market in the nation?
I will say this: I am very, deliriously happy with my choice of favorite teams. I like disfunction. I thrive on hopelessness. I can’t sit still even when I’m sleeping so what’s the point of living the baseball season on cruise control? *cough* ’05 White Sox *cough*
Meanwhile, if I’m going to have to go up to Cincinnati for Opening Day why can’t some of this drama revolve around the lowly Reds? Do they still have Ken Griffey Jr? Does anyone even remember who he is?
Ah, I see they have a player named “Bubba” and one named “Bong.” Maybe Ohio’s not so useless as I previously supposed.
And Johnny D’s going to look like a schmuck with a shave and a haircut. Two Bits.
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