Where to start? Shall I start with the totally gratuitous sex scene? How about the subtlety-of-a-sledgehammer product placement? The music that kept me flashing back to Pearl Harbor as the bile raised and I squirmed uncomfortably in my chair? The Clockwork Orange meets Total Recall setting and fashions?
It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. For the first half of the flick there was a lot to consider. The first thing that popped into my head once the scope of the scenario became apparent was, “My God. That’s what slavery was like!” When humans are treated as commodities, humanity ceases to exist. Scary stuff.
But then suddenly Michael Bay seems to have woken up, slapped himself on the forehead and said, “Dammit! I’m on the verge of making a decent film here! Quick, ignore all realities of plot and pacing and throw some big goddamned explosions in there! This is a Michael Bay picture after all! We have a piss poor reputation to uphold!”
What a load of bollocks. I had a few flashes of inspiration during the flick and one or two insights but by the very long end I was perfectly disgusted with myself for bothering to discover some nuggets of goodness and truth in such a steaming pile of consumerist shite.
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