Mess of the Damned

Reasons the Philadelphia Phillies will win the 2009 World Series

1. The New York Yankees used to be the New York Highlanders who used to be the Baltimore Orioles. Who’s been afraid of the Baltimore Orioles at any time in this century?
2. Speaking of the Baltimore Orioles – if the Phillies owe the New York Yankees a kick in the jimmy for thwarting us in 1950, we definitely owe the Baltimore Orioles a teabagging for 1983. So that’s two reasons to whip hell out of the Yankees across two different iterations of the team.
3. South Philly beats the South Bronx. I’m sick and tired of the Broadway vs. Broad Street comparison – the MFYs aren’t from New York, they’re from the Bronx. Hell, when the Phillies started playing baseball the Bronx wasn’t even part of New York City! What a pity, just like everyone else – except Brooklyn – the Yankees have no home borough pride and have to look wistfully across the river to Manhattan for validation.
4. For the first time in my memory the National League team has the clear advantage in the Designated Hitter position. Typically the NL team is at the monstrous disadvantage of expecting a season-long pinch hitter to jump in and be able to serve as the big bopper through the games in the AL park. This time, the Phillies can put a season-long big bat in the DH role and upgrade their defense at the same time. I expect big things from both Raul Ibanez and Ben Francisco tonight in New York.
5. At some point Sabathia and Rodriguez have to revert to their historical postseason form. You know, the one that has Rodriguez slapping balls out of gloves like a sissy and Sabathia giving up a nine pitch walk to Brett Myers. Eventually we all regress to the mean.
6. And if that statement is true then Brad Lidge will be unhittable, Cole Hamels will dominate, Cliff Lee will be Cliff Lee and Chase Utley will awaken. That’s a bright prospect.

“All right, let’s get ’em.”

It’s the Yankees. I am unimpressed.

My best case scenario was watching the Yankees suffer Choke #2 by dropping the ALCS to the Angels after being up 3-1. That would have made me very happy on this, the fifth anniversary of Choke #1.

And it would have been very cool to see a Phillies-Angels World Series; two teams with angels in their dugouts (Adenhart and Harry the K).

Instead we get Phillies-Yankees. Whee! The New Jersey World Series. Christ, these people are already insufferable, now I have to tolerate ten days of pro/anti-Yankees crap? Just kill me now, but let me know how things turn out.

I’m too tired to work up anything spectacular.

I’m too happy.

It’s a very weird feeling this time around. Last year was so amazing. A chance to go to the World Series for the first time since I started college. Just fricking amazing!

This time it’s subdued. This is awesome, but I want a victory. I want to be able to see the parade this time. I want two in a row.

And the lads want the same thing.

Which makes ’em very dangerous.

Go Phillies!

My friends, the worm has turned.

This is the second time this decade that I am grappling with the weird transition as one of ballclubs goes from decades as a hapless also-ran and suddenly becomes “just another team.”

The Red Sox did it from 2004-2007. Now, instead of being the romantic Red Sox opera circa 1918-2003, they’re almost elevated to levels of scorn typically reserved for the Yankees. They spend too much. They’re overextended. Their stars are indulgent bums.

In 2007, as the Sox were cemented as a perennial contender, the Phillies jumped on the contending bandwagon and are in the process of turning themselves into a powerhouse. Suddenly, as a fan, you don’t sweat it when they get hot early in the year while anticipating the inevitable collapse. You relax, breathe deep and understand that they’ve got it under control and won’t collapse like 1964. When the manager swaps out eleventy hundred and fifty-two pitchers in 2/3ds of an inning you relax and think, “In Cholly we trust.” When the 7-8-9 batters are up in the bottom of the ninth and we’re losing by two runs you think, “We’ve got a legitimate chance to win this game.” When our terrifying closer takes the mound in the 9th you cheer him on, rather than booing him in your heart.

We pick ’em up when they’re down. We reward effort – even if unsuccessful. We stand by our men.

What a weird time to be a Phillies fan.