Mess of the Damned

Holy jumping zombie Baby Jeebus.

There will be at least one more day of Phillies baseball. At least one more game before the long white season. The pitching is all right. The bats might be awake.

Things look a hell of a lot better than they did 24 hours ago.

I’ll take 3-2 against the Yankees. They gotta be feeling it too.

At least one more panic-filled, sleepless night to go.

I have to apologize to every Phillies fan around the world. I had to do it. I had to go. I had to see a World Series.

Even though I knew it would cost the Fightin’s a game.

For three years I’ve been working my way up the postseason ladder. My record so far is pretty goddamned miserable.

2007 – Game 1 of the NLDS: Colorado Rockies 4, Philadelphia Phillies 2

2008 – Game 3 of the NLCS: Philadelphia Phillies 2, Los Angeles Dodgers 7

2009 – Game 3 of the World Series: New York Yankees 8, Philadelphia Phillies 5

For our undetermined 2009 campaign, I wanted to go to the World Series. I knew it would cost us a win. I knew I’d overpay for tickets to yet another loss. But hell, it’s the World friggin’ Series. How many chances in one lifetime is a man going to get to watch the Phillies play the Yankees in Citizens Bank Park.

So I went, and it was grand. And they lost. But I don’t care. I’ve been to the World Series and I’ve got the Taco Bell swag and preposterous towel to show for it.

And like a wise man once said, “Now I can die in peace.”

That’s right bitches! I am on my way to the World Series!

Section 243 on the Scoreboard Porch for those of you watching at home.

Permit me to apologize in advance for the loss the Phillies will suffer due to my presence. It’s entirely unavoidable. I have to go. That’s just the way it is.

All together now, big *sigh* of relief.

I shamelessly lifted the design from an Obama t-shirt I saw a long time ago. I think I’d like to see the same thing with Zombie Reagan but for now, Cliff Lee is the hero of the day.

Tonight, the only man alive who can work the jheri curl and smack down antique Yankee coaches with style. God damn, I love Petey.