Tomorrow

I have been thinking about the future. Scary place, that. I am an old man – or at least a young man on the cusp of being an old man. One thinks one should have accomplished things by the time they’re 30. Mozart had played for Emperors and had many of his works produced. Napoleon had conquered Italy and Egypt – not to mention France. Churchill had been to at least three wars and was sitting in Parliament.

What have I done? Absolutely nothing at all. I’ve dawdled my way through school, kept a roof over my head and food in my ample belly and that’s it. Hardly anything to write home about. Who would I write to anyway? The legacy project is not making much headway.

So, what do I do next?

Teacher – Those who can do, those who can’t teach. What the hell does that mean? Naturally I agree whole-heartedly when it comes to literature teachers, second language teachers, asian/black/womyn’s studies and all other assorted worthless disciplines but mathematics teachers? Physics teachers? History teachers?

Now that I am able to be semi-sentient at early hours of the morning, teaching begins to appeal strongly to me. I think I’ve matured to the point that I could control a room full of rowdy yewts. I think I’ve acquired both the knowledge and the patience to pass along information with sufficient explanation to make my point.

My problem is this: can you try out teaching? That is, could I swing emergency certification so that I could teach for a year or so with minimal training before needing to go back to school to get fully certified? I certainly don’t want to subject myself to the assault on common sense that is modern educational training unless I am sure I’ll need it.

Lawyer – If I could get past the whole additional schooling thing I long believed plying a trade at the bar might appeal to me: scouring textbooks for esoteric information, declaiming before judge and jury, constructing carefully reasoned logical arguments. It’s more or less what I do for fun anyway.

Having heard about the life of a journeyman lawyer from at least two people I can’t say the job appeals much to me anymore. I like going home more or less on time and my weekends are for the most part sacrosanct.

Student – I haven’t had much good to say about this have I? Still, my brother commented extensively on what he’s learned about being a perpetual student and it doesn’t seem all that bad. Once you get through the annoying classroom instruction you spend the rest of your life muddling through things that interest you and then trying to interest the world.

Spend all day reading and writing? About things that interest me? Oh. Hell. Yes.

Priest – I joke about this but it always lingers in the back of my mind. Could I do it? Sure, I can do anything. If you pick the right order and play your cards right you could even spend your life doing one of the above options in service to Holy Mother Church.

I said I’d make the move at 30 if I was still single. I got some strenuous objections to that plan. So, I’ll wait until 40 and reevaluate.

Keep on keeping on – I’d rather be trampled by a herd of diarrheic water buffalo. Continuing to be a mostly expendable cog in the great machine is decidedly uninteresting. Apparently I’ve been given great potential. As I get older it seems a waste to piss it away piddling with servers and routers to shave a cent or two off the cost of production. But, it will suit in the short term.