Triskaidekaphobia

Who the hell travels across unfamiliar countries on Friday the 13th?

If I stopped to think about, I’m not sure I could cope. How does one wake up in Paris before the city does, ride the bus to a tiny regional airport in the French countryside, jump on a plane to Rome, land next to Air Force One, take a bus into Rome itself, then jump on a train for the Tuscan countryside?

I get confused when I go to Florida for a week. One night you sleep in your very own bed, the next you’re a thousand miles away crashed in some mouldy hotel room in south Florida.

Now, on top of the normal disorientation of travel add a different language, different customs, different cuisine. I had almost gotten used to speaking a little French. The important words anyway: Good morning (bonjour), Good evening (bonsoir), please (s’il vous plait), thanks very much (merci boucoup). I had actually started to think a little in French – which I understand is the key to mastering any language – when I saw Air Force One on the tarmac at Ciampino the first thing I thought was “Monseuir Le President!”

And then, of course, in English “What is he doing here? Is that really Air Force One?”

Naturally the first time an Italian asked me a yes or no question I immediately responded “Oui.” And I damned near said “merci” half a dozen times when I should have been saying “graize.” “Buon giorno” I remember just fine. I still don’t know how to say please. Italians seem a very bustle-y people, maybe they don’t have a word for please, they just take what they want.

A weekend in the Tuscan countryside. Didn’t someone write a book about that? Or make a movie? I’m just looking forward to having the responsibility taken off my shoulders for a little while. Do you know I sat down today for a meal in the train station and it was the first time since I left the United States eleven days ago that I didn’t feel like I was on a schedule. That I didn’t feel like I had something else I ought to be doing or a better way to spend my time. Just think, for a couple of days I won’t have to figure out meals or transport or hopefully much else. And I might be away from crowds. I’ll even have someone who can tell me how to say please and fill me in on some of the customs so I don’t look like a total git.

It’s the little things, you know.