I think I love the Boston Red Sox and the Philadelphia Phillies because I love Boston, Massachusetts and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Tonight Boston returned my love. They dropped their magic number to 1 won the American League East!. If it was the old Red Sox or the Phillies you’d say, “Hey, they only need to win one out of the last two games? Yeah, they’ll find a way to f**k that up.” But this is the new Red Sox. They buggered up the first game against the Twins. But tonight, they were born again hard. Dice-K has screwed up his last umpteen games. Tonight he pitches eight innings with only two runs on six hits and eight strikeouts. That’s my boy. Hopefully the Japanese are pleased with that performance. More in line with his Pacific days than anything he’s shown so far in the good ol’ USA.
MVP!!! MVP!!! MVP!!! JIMMEH! HE DE MAN!
Sorry, a momentary lapse of reason due to the dulcet tones of Philly fans on the telly.
And a word on those rotten goddamned towels. I’d give green money if football players never, ever wore baseball caps in any scene associated with the gridiron. Why would baseball people want to wave those goddamned Pittsburgh football towels? Idiots.
Here’s how it looks at 10:08 PM on a beautiful September Friday night.

And maybe he don’t have to. Witness the standings as of 10:50 PM!

