I know about as much about fashion as your average twenty layers of clothes wearing homeless person but I do know that there are some simple rules for men which ought to be followed.
Men should not wear any form of shoe without laces – Come on, a forty or fifty year old executive can’t manage to bend over and tie his damn shoes? Man, you’ve got bigger problems than the upcoming quarterly report if that’s the case. Forbidding slip-on shoes of any kind would also neatly outlaw tassles. That would be a boon to western civilisation.
Men with moustaches as their only facial hair look like 1970s gay porn stars – At least grow a soul patch and even things out! But, by all means, avoid the soul patch without other facial hair. It means you’re the villian.
Men do not wear pastels, particularly pink – I know this goes against the Queer Eye handbook but Christ! I saw some sort of upper echelon mover and shaker yesterday in a pink shirt. That’s some piss poor outfit picking. Sorry lads, you may think “one wants a hint of color” but men in pink or orange pastel looks bad even in Miami. And why would you want to look like a Cuban pimp anyway?
Men’s shirts should never be unbuttoned further than the collar button – The exception is if you’re wearing a crew neck undershirt you can get away with two buttonholes undone – particularly when wearing a polo or rugby shirt. Otherwise, keep your damn self covered. Nobody wants to see your gold crucifix contrasting with your atheistic arse’s chest hair.
Men should not wear short pants – except in athetic circumstances or possibly at the beach. It really comes down to a sense of propreity. There’s no need for short pants, they don’t make you any cooler and most of the time you just look ridiculous. In the thousands of years of human evolution since we left the desert and the Mediterranean for colder climes folks have covered their legs. What’s wrong with modern man? Do we really have much better looking knees?
Flip flops are meant to be worn only in the shower or possibly at the beach – In high school we had a dress code which mandated tucked in shirts, short pants, no athletic gear, etc. Funnily it neglected to ban flip flops. So, you were faced with relatively well-turned out kids wear flip flops to class. Shameful. And stupid sounding.
I am sure there are many more but this will do for now. Any additions?