Goodbye to all that

2003 is nearly over and gone. Thank Christ, it’s about goddamned time (Wow! Double-blasphemy. Some poor bastard will smoke a turd in hell for that one.) ‘Tis the season for retrospectives it seems. Everyone wants to list what happened during the past year. Hell, I didn’t even remember some of the things I’ve seen mentioned, I guess everything just runs together after a while.

It’s been a shite year all the same. Not ridiculously bad or anything like that, it’s just had odd sort of idly fiddling while Fargo, North Dakota melts into the prairie sense about it. There have been good times as well as bad but the bad was not terrible and the good was not excellent – in all a very numb year. Maybe I should do a bit of a recap based on what I’ve electronically scribbled here ‘lo these many months.

January
– sonsabitches Eagles get whipped in the playoffs thereby dashing all hope and inaguarating the numb feeling that will continue all year

– Fast Eddie becomes Governor without me in attendance because of his stupid anti-gun parade organizers

– I lost a pal

February
– The Space Shuttle went *whoosh plinkty-plinkty-plinkty* all over Texas. Deja vu all over again

– The north-east had lots of snow, earning me a day off to sew buttonholes

– I spent a great deal of time bitching about: Iraq, the human race and Valentine’s Day in that order

– Mr. Rogers died and we all lost a pal

March
– The most worrysome project of my professional life comes off with nary a hitch

– The St. Patrick’s Day War actually starts two days late but makes up for it by finishing in a hell of a hurry

– The Oscars sucked and annoyed me mightily.

– I picked on some filthy hippies and had some wingnut complain in the comments section

April
– “Welcome to Iraq. 4th Marine Division” Nuff said.

– Spent too much time bitching about: hippies, Frenchies and sodomy in that order

– Went to New York and ended up arguing with my brother again about why we’re not *this close* to erecting the Fourth Reich

May
– Everybody in the whole world that isn’t me graduated from something or other

– I got DSL

– Bob Hope celebrated his 100th birthday by not dying

– After a frightening premonition I did end up missing my ballgame on account of rain

June
– Drank deeply and repeatedly in a bewildering variety of places

– Went to Boston and saw my first game in Fenway which almost, but not quite, made up for getting screwed out of my last game in the Vet

July

– Bob Hope ran out of steam and celebrated his 100th birthday plus almost two months by dying

– Everybody else that was left died

– Bampf got married

– I celebrated the anniversary of Gettysburg by writing about it and the Fourth of July by posting the entire Declaration of Independence

– Apparently I missed a good party

August
– I went to San Francisco, ostensibly to hang around Linux twerps but obviously, in my mind, to do some travelling

– The big blackout

– The most exhausting weekend of the entire year

– Mars in the early morning darkness

September
– Paid tribute at the grave of a distant ancestor down in the sunny south

– Johnny Cash died, I spent most of the month moping (for other reasons) and listening to his tunes over and over again

– Saw G. Gordon Liddy lecture and deftly deal with a lambasting lefty oul bitch

– Watched the last game at the Vet on TV with tears streaming down my face

October
– Californians made their first good decision in many a year and tossed Grey Davis out on his backside. Oddly, they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger in his place

– The Chinese sent a man into space

– The Red Sox didn’t make it to the Series, again

– Finally saw Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead on the stage

November
– New Hampshire got an openly gay Episcopal Bishop thereby ensuring the demise of the Episcopal Church of America and the fulfillment of step one in my grand scheme to bring the whole world into the Pope’s domain

– John Street is re-elected Mayor of Philadelphia due to the fact he had been under investigation by the FBI

– Massachussets had gay marriage imposed by, you guessed it, judicial fiat

– I was rear-ended (in a car!) the results of which I’m still dealing with into the New Year

December
– I turned 30

– Powered flight turned 100

– I survived Christmas and am relatively set for the New Year

I think that about covers it folks. All that’s left is to wish everyone out there a Happy New Year. May 2004 be everything that 2003 was not with the extra added bonus of all the good stuff from 2003 reoccuring doubled.