Apparently in yet another of my all too common acts of Christian charity I granted some poor sod an unexpected gift in the form of a $25 gift card dropped on the floor of the supermarket. It must be so, for as I retraced my steps the card was nowhere to be found. No doubt some titantically girthed denizen of the trailer park greedily snatched up said card and waddled off excitedly to pad their monthly food stamp allowance with all the cigarettes and Pop Tarts my twenty five dollars could by.
At least I hope so. Will $25 worth of such things be enough to hasten the day when we all are relieved of your odious existence?
Every time I determine to adopt an attitude of benevolent neutrality towards my fellow man something like this comes along to spoil the whole thing. Since it’s all actually my fault that makes it even worse. The only remedy is to watch my Spice Girls movie (first person to say ONE WORD gets it right in the kisser) and drink myself into a restless blackness.
I can not wait for this interminable year to end.