13. Abolish Political Correctness – Is there anything that has more completely led to our society’s current sad state of affairs? Call a spade a spade for chrissakes!
12. Encourage judicious application of racial profiling – Where appropriate so-called racial profiling can be a powerful tool. If 60% of speeders are black, maybe it’s a good idea to keep an eye out for black folks on the highway. If young, Arab men are trying to kill us shouldn’t we eye them a little closer than grandmas and Medal of Honor winners?
11. Abolish the 17th Amendment – We could maybe do with a little less direct democracy and a little more Federalism. When state government had a direct hand in the composition of the Federal government people paid a hell of a lot more attention to local politics. Engagement on the state level also allowed the formation of third parties who could create local bulwarks and then expand to the national level. A good thing all around.
10. Ban abortion, human cloning and fetal stem cell research – A moral decision to be sure but certainly we can agree that human life in all stages of development ought to be protected? Cloning seems unnecessary, fetal stem cell research might be replaced by adult stem cell research and the vast majority of abortions are a matter of choice. Boo sucks to that.
9. Abolish the Departments of Health and Human Services, Housing and Urban Development, the EPA and the ONDCP – Part of my plan to reorganize government. HHS and HUD are leftovers of the Great Society. The EPA is too powerful for its own good and since the war on drugs was pointless in the first place, what the hell do we need the ONDCP for?
8. Combine the Departments of Commerce and Labor, combine the Departments of Transportation and Energy, combine the Departments of Agriculture and Interior – Makes sense to me, Commerce and Labor need to be inextricably linked – as Theodore Roosevelt intended. If we can’t roll Transportation and Energy into Interior then at least combine them and cut down on the bureacracy. Same for Agriculture, do we really need a whole Department for this anymore? Surely Congress’s largess has taken care of our farmers for the forseeable future.
7. Rename the Department of Homeland Security the Department of Defense and the Department of Defense the Department of War – My fave. Again, call a spade a spade. Although I would be in favor of elimnating Homeland Security altogether. What a dumb idea. What a useless bureaucracy.
6. Abolish Federal, State and Municipal Workers’ Unions – This is self-explanatory. How on earth did public servants – supposedly serving at the whim of the American citizenry – get the right to collective barganing, job insurance and all the other evils of unionism?
5. Fire Colin Powell, promote Don Rumsfeld to Secretary of State and give Wolfowitz Rumsfeld’s job – I may be annoyed with some of the decisions the Secretary of Defense and his undersecretary have been making of late but they’re infinitely preferable to Colin “Never met a Frenchman I didn’t like” Powell. And I actually like Colin Powell. Damn shame.
4. Redeploy US troops to more useful bases in more friendly parts of the world, particularly the troops stationed along the Korean DMZ – You don’t like us? Fine. You deal with the million hungry men with guns along your northern border. Germany doesn’t like us? Fine, the Poles think we’re the bees knees. So much for your soldier-based socialist economy.
3. Nuke North Korea – Again, self-explanatory. It would actually be doing those poor people a favor, and at little cost to ourselves.
2. Kill Fidel Castro, invade Cuba and give it back to the mafia – they did a better job with the island that either us or the godless Commies ever did – See Above. Can’t you just see a modern Rat Pack hanging around the hotels of Havana again? Mojitos, martinis and fine cigars.
1. Ensure that all my reforms were irreversible and then hand power back to the people – Naturally. As dumb as the people sometime seem to be, in the end we had a damn fine government. The blueprint is astoundingly prescient. We just need to get back on the track we jumped around the time of the Civil War and then let the train keep on rolling.