Fecking Rendell!

That c**k-smoker! Well, I was already terribly concerned about his plans for the financing of the public schools (where’s the money coming from Eddie?) and his gambling intentions, not to mention that he’s – in my favorite turn of phrase – “one cheesesteak away from death.” Now the sonuvabitch has gone and made it personal. We can’t march in his damned inaugural parade. Get this, someone on the parade staff must have suddenly realized that a group portraying the American infantryman from the Revolution through modern times might actually carry guns! Heaven forfend! Guns? With soldiers? Oh heavens, this will never do. Never do at all.

So, because the poor folks don’t have enough “security” – as if the whole city won’t be locked down tighter than goddamn Fort Knox – we were asked to leave the firearms behind. Admittedly, you could portray a soldier wrongly without a firearm but to do the thing justice and to properly honor the men we represent the tool of their trade is an essential requirement. To be asked to leave the guns at home is a travesty and an insult. So, we told ’em to go stick it up their lefty bottoms. See if that cures your irrepressible idiocy. A little .30-06 enema ought to help.

Well, it’s not all that late but I’ve been drinking and stewing and right about now I’m disgusted with Fast Eddie, the Democratic Party, the City of Philadelphia and the mother that ejected that worthless tub of slime into my world. (The US? You mean the whole continent? — Yeah, it’s mine.) I think this is but the first salvo in a war against all that is good and true in our dear commonwealth and I think Fast Eddie will come to a sickening realization that here in the “red T” of PA we just don’t cotton to that sort of higgledy piggledy.

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