High comedy, this was, high comedy.

Leave the house at the typically obnoxiously early hour required to make the usual obnoxiously long commute. Luckily find out on the way down the street that the Turnpike has been closed for the past four hours due to accident. Re-route yourself down a parallel but very slow road.

Here’s where it gets fun. The parallel slow road goes to one lane for about a mile due to construction. It takes about ten minutes to merge – partly because the truck in front is going obscenely slow and partly because every jackass in the neighborhood is whipping out into the left lane preparatory to cutting back into my lane ahead of the lane merge. ‘Cause, you know, they’re so much more important than me.

I finally get through the light and through the merge area and have to suddenly dodge a universal joint that’s fallen out of the very slow truck ahead of me. Whee! Dodge universal joint, swerve to the right to get around the now dead truck that’s using its last bit of momentum to try and get out of the main flow of traffic in the one lane construction zone.

Now all the traffic is moving slowly, the turnpike is still closed and the word is that all the detouring from the four hour closure means the parallel slow road is choked where it joins the main branch of the east-west turnpike. Already it’s taken an hour to do what usually takes 20 minutes. Just as I’m about to declare all hope is lost I hear the turnpike is open and I’m able to swiftly re-route and enjoy smooth sailing from that point forward.

Total commute time: 2.5 hours. Usual time: 1.75 hours.

The funny ending to the story is seeing one of the trucks that caused the problem in the first place unloading its cargo of dry goods through a hole in the side onto another truck.

What a day.

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