What the hell is going on?
Did the population of this area suddenly triple in the last sixty days?
Used to be I could leave work at 5:30 and more or less coast all the way into Philadelphia where I could find a parking space no more than one block from my house on my first drive around the block.
Now I leave at 5:30, sit in traffic for thirty minutes to go about five miles, get back to Philadelphia, drive around multiple blocks in ever-increasing circles for another thirty minutes and finally settle on a dubiously legal parking space no more than one mile from my house on my fifth drive around the block.
I swear to Jesus Christ Almighty – hanging on the cross at this very minute – the next time it takes me thirty minutes to find a parking space I am going to dynamite every single car sitting in a permit legal parking spot within a two block radius that has New Jersey tags.
Those bastards make my life difficult enough without taking up my parking space to re-enact their favorite scenes from Jersey Shore at Fat Tuesdays on a Thursday night.
Anyone up for a good Jersey-stomping flash mob?
Family excepted, of course. Hell, they might help.