I am not glad to be back. On several occasions throughout my weekend in Denver I thought about staying. “The hell with it,” says I, “I’ve got nearly a week’s worth of clothes, I’ve got a suit and a tie, I’ve got my computer and some entertainment options. If I can’t stay in Golden I can be in Cheyenne in two hours, Rawlings in four, Reno in ten or so. Maybe I could even cross into California and settle in Auburn or Colfax or down in Sacramento. Too many lovely places to choose from, too many reasons not to go back to dirty Jersey.”
Hah.
Herein a short list of reasons not to come back:
- The air’s cleaner out West – Breathing clean, dry air is a forgotten pleasure after a few hours of inhaling the East Coast miasma of exhaust, unwashed humanity and death that’s called air.
- Driving is more pleasant in the West – Every time I get into the car in the East I think, “We’re off to the races.” Fast starts, exceeding the speed limit, quick stops, no turn signals, impatience at every turn. In Denver I held strictly to the speed limit and – even on the Interstate – was the fastest car on the road. People stop well back of the line at traffic lights, almost always use their indicators and never seem to be in any particular hurry to get anywhere.
- People are calmer in the West – There are some rabid Colorado Rockies fans but nobody yelled obscenities at the large numbers of Cardinals fans in the ballpark. I didn’t see any fights. I didn’t hear any cussing. Just a good, mellow, beer soaked day at the ballpark.
- The sun is brighter in the West – I slather myself with sunscreen most days as a matter of course. I got flat-out cooked on Saturday sitting in the sun for a couple of hours. That delightful combination of cool, breezy air and hot, bright sun is sadly absent anywhere back East.
Man, I wish I got that job on the railroad. I could be somewhere in Wyoming, windburnt and sun scorched drinking a Fat Tire and thanking the Good Lord above that I don’t have to fight harried drivers, rude salespeople, macho barflies or guidos any time soon.