Hrm, goth-y *blah blah blah*. Rubber suits, dark spaces, underdressed vampires, gratuitous sex scenes. Yep, all the elements for a perfectly formulaic vampire movie. It’s a bit of a shame that the most originally plotted monster movie series has to shlock it around with the boring standards of the genre.
Would you really want to go into combat in a rubber suit and corset? Or wearing high-heeled boots and an ankle length coat? Fer chrissakes, you’d trip and get your gullet cranked open before you could mumble something vampirically monotonous. And when was the last time you saw an immortal scholar humping two women at the same time? Does vampirism really change everyone into an inescapable sex magnet?
Why can’t we get a movie with vampires like Cassidy in The Preacher? I have a one-shot where he slaps the shite out of another vampire in New Orleans for acting like a gothic ponce. Then he goes to the bar. My kind of vampire.