The Onion Loves Me!
Note the comment in the body:
Communists Now Least Threatening Group In U.S.
WASHINGTON, DC – According to a report released Tuesday by the Pentagon, Communists rank last on a list of 238 threats to national security. “Communists may now safely be ignored,” Secretary of Defense William Cohen said. “The Red Menace has been surpassed by militia groups, religious extremists, ecoterrorists, cybercriminals, Hollywood producers, and angry drivers.” Other groups deemed more threatening than Communists include rap-metal bands (#96), escaped zoo animals (#202), and Belgians (#237).
See! See! Belgians are listed just above rotten Commies as threats to national security! I told you all! You heard it here first!
Rotten stinking Belgian bastards! We must be vigilant.
By the way, Canadians were number 239. A threat, but so pathetic the government couldn’t muster the ink needed to list them formally. Stupid Canadians.
December 23rd, 2003 at 11:18 AM
If you wanna get technical, they re actually:
Miserable fat bloated Belgian bastards.
[Python Police mode off]
-b
December 23rd, 2003 at 5:13 PM
I’ve always wondered: do you think the greasy, bloated, twelve cheese sandwich eating mf’er was Belgian?
Their formal names sound so similar.
-bp